4:30am

Woke up a little after 4:00 and can't get back to sleep. Woke up with too much on my mind. Sometimes I wish my heart and mind could be locked away so I wouldn't think or feel anything unless I wanted to. Put everthing away in a safe or a box. I could take my heart out once or twice a day - feel whatever - and then put it away again. It could make me a little cold and unfeeling the rest of the time - but I wouldn't hurt either. I could confine the pain to times when I am not working, out with people, sleeping, etc... What a thought. I would only lock my mind up at night. It would be so much easier to sleep if it would just shut down for awhile.