Monday, December 31, 2012

December 31

What a wonderful season this has been. I have found peace in the love of this season. My family and friends have shown me great love. God has shared his love and peace with me. My future is ahead and I see it as bright and hopeful.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

December 12

I am honored to have the family I do. Already, they have agreed to come to the cemetery on Saturday to place a Christmas wreath on Tom's grave. Not being able to be in crowds alone is difficult. What a wonderful family I have.

Tommy, they loved you. I think we all miss you. Especially me.

December 12

Saturday I will place a Christmas wreath on Tom's grave. I can't go alone so I have invited my siblings and my children. Crowds and I don't get along too well when I am alone. With my family by my side - I will honor my husband with a Christmas Wreath. I love him so. This will be stepping outside of my comfort zone. But, it will be OK.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

December 9

Do you know what it is like to wake up in the morning and think of nothing? Or, like me, are your thoughts crowded by people you love and care about? What about children,spouses,friends? The weather? What you are going to wear? Housework undone? Pets to be fed and groomed. The lawn - what about the lawn. Are there weeds to pull? Gardens to water?

There are so many things in life that crowd in when I wake up in the morning. My life is full and mostly enjoyable. There is hardly a second that has no thought in it. But, today - Tom was not one of them. I did not think about him until later. I was up, working, dressed, had my coffee, working on a friend's curtain when it hit me - I hadn't thought of Tom yet. This may be a good thing.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

December 1

A new month. December. This is not an easy month for me. Life keeps going and my struggles are lost in season. No tears - no sadness. This is a season on joy and it is what I want my kids and my granddaughter to know from me. Joy in the presence of God. No, Tom is not here and I weep with the thought of it. I miss him each holiday, each night when I go to bed, and each morning when I awaken. He is never missing in my heart. But there must be joy again for those around me and for me. How can I go on grieving though holidays that make others happy and used to fill me with joy. It is time to let go a little more. I love my family. I want to be a part of that again.