Sunday, January 22, 2012

It is quiet now. The fire burns in its place. There is a fan working. Little to distract or remove you from my thoughts. We are going to have a granddaughter. She will be a part of you. Again I will be able to hold you in my arms. No - not the same. But I will teach her of you. She will learn of your great love for God and your quiet, gentle spirit. Your son will teach her your sense of humor. Your daughter-in-love of you patience and joy. She will be a part you lingering here for us to enjoy.

You are missed my gentle love. In the quiet times I can almost feel you.. Never Could I have believed that I would be without you or as alone as I feel today. It is not unhappiness that I feel beloved, just loneliness. You have made sure that I am cared for. By giving me the son we shared - you have left me some of your love to comfort and support me. But I am lonely.

When I laid in your hospital bed with you - I was not so lonely as now. You were there. You could not speak, or love, or share a quiet thought with me - but you were there. It was for me to love and give and share with you. You always took care of me - it became my turn to take care of you. When you left - the emptiness settled in. The loneliness exploded and its dark, horrible smoke filled my heart. Will it ever leave?

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