November 21

Today is Thanksgiving Eve. Not notable in itself I guess. But for me - it is a series of days and thoughts that come together - in memories.

Ten years ago tonight - Tom had a massive migraine that caused stroke-like symptoms. He was 'bone cold'. I rushed him to the ER, they rushed him back, and then upstairs. He was medicated and treated for a stroke. It is almost funny - even now - that after that - he always wanted to turn left. We laughed about that often.

Thanksgiving Eve - after that - we always gave thanks that he had lived and laughed again. We understood that we had come close to losing what we had. We loved each other and could not imagine life alone. We gave thanks for our son, Joe, and all that he meant in our lives. He was our joy and the apple of his daddy's eye. In recent years, we added Amanda to that Thanksgiving list. She is the best woman for our son. Amanda immediately took to Tom and made his last years more pleasant. She helped care for his Mom and the love was mutual.

Thanksgiving Eve - tonight- I try again to give thanks for what Tom and I had and for what I still have. It is not so easy any more. I still have Joe and I am thankful for him. Amanda is ever by his side - I am thankful for her still. Today - we have Zoe- the granddaughter that Tom always prayed for.

However, Tom is no longer here. He has gone home to Jesus and is happier that he ever could have been on this earth. I try to be thankful for that. But it is hard. I must learn to be thankful in all things - at all times.

Thank you Jesus for loving me. Thank you for helping me to get through the difficult things of life. Thank you for walking beside me when I feel alone. I love you. I thank you for loving me.

I am filled with thanks.