Saturday, September 22, 2012

September 22

Crying again.

Learning to live on my income is worse than I thought. I have money going into my retirement that I may have to pull out. Broke and there is still another week until payday. It is time for me to learn how to and not to spend money. Sometimes I forget and buy things I shouldn't.

It will take time.

Two years I have walked alone..
Not alone
but alone
Tom is not here
And sometimes I don't let God be here either.
He stays though.
God knows I need Him.
It just feels alone.
Weariness overwhelms me
Weeping sends floods of tears through my soul
I drown in what I do not weep
And yet I weep rivers and flood my life with them.
Drowning - yes - I am drowning.
Again in grief
Again in loneliness

I wrote this a few months ago - how true it remains.

Here I am again
Kneeling at Your feet.
Washing with my tears
Drying with my hair

Oh Lord I am here
Bowing in your presence
Loving You I come

Walking in Your way
Hearing words of hope
Seeking all You say
Loving you - I come

Oh Lord I am here
Bowing in Your Presence
Loving you I come

Praying in the night
Singing of Your love
Crying out my pain
Crying out again

Oh Lord I am here
Bowing in your presence
Loving you I come

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