Sunday, September 23, 2012
There are days when certain things come into greater focus and I see with a clarity that is not always available. Today is one of those days.
I have been sad for several days. Tom is never far from my thoughts and the loneliness wears at my soul. But God has a way to force my eyes to see what I have forgotten. I am redeemed. I do not have to live by the codes of this earth. Nor do I have to feel guilty because my heart is not in a day. God loves me just as I am and he loved me just as I was the day He saved me.
Tom is happy now. He is not in pain. He does not grieve. There is no sorrow in his heart. I shall see him again but, until then, it is OK for me to miss him. Guilt has plagued and divided me.
I am redeemed. I have been washed in the blood of the Lamb. There is therefore no condemnation - no fear - no guilt. It is OK to live another day. It is OK to grieve my loss. It is OK!
God is bigger than my pain. He is bigger than my sorrow. I am known from the inside out. What I don't understand of me - God does. Maybe someday - He will share it with me. Until then - I am confused, grieving, sorrowing, and OK in the sight of my God.