Slept on 'my' bed last night. I woke up several times but it was still good. It is more comfortable to sleep on a bed that was never 'his' or 'ours'. Bought new sheets, pillows, and cover. Now I just need to get a blanket, iron the bed skirt, and put it all together properly.
It seems sometimes that I can handle the day when I am looking at it from this position. It is early. It is quiet. Surely this is the day that I bring myself all together so that I can get on with life. Then...the day really starts. I open my eyes, make coffee, the phone rings - and I lose it again. I forget what I'm doing and start something else. Then I remember what I was doing originally, leave the second thing I started and go back to the first. There are days I have half a dozen things going at the same time and none of them get done. I think about going back to work and cringe. I don't want to be around children. There problems need someone who can focus on them and give them the attention they deserve. This is not the time yet. Will it ever come? I don't know. Doctor says this is not the time. I will trust him to help me get there.
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