It isn't what it should be - this life of mine. It simply is what it is. As much as I want to move on - I want to stay with my memories. I am not ready to leave Tom behind. I cry for no reason and feel guilty when I laugh. Is there no end to confusion and pain?
Looking at houses has been a distraction but finding one has caused such sorrow. It will be mine and no other's. Tom will not be in corners of the room, in the kitchen cabinets and floors. It will be my house. Not sure I can do this.
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